Friday, 11 September 2009

10th September 2009 - The Saddest News

Today I had to have my beautiful pussycat Cleo put to sleep. For weeks Mark and I have been trying to keep her alive by wrapping her in a towel and feeding her with a spoon, but today I lost her - despite only being 11, she had some terrible tumours in her tummy which meant she was in pain and was dying...she had an ultrasound and the vet rang me with the news, I went up there to be with her for one last terrible, hideous, heart-rending, touching hour - she sat on my lap wrapped in a blanket, pushed her face into the crook of my elbow and purred constantly - I sang her her song 'You Are My Sunshine' and too soon, the vet helped her slip away...this lovely little cat whom I loved as my child, who would sit with me in my studio whilst I worked, who comforted me every time my arthritis hurt, who purred me to sleep each night, my funny little black and white cat who followed me everywhere, is gone.

Right now I have sort of stopped everything - I do have lots of work prepped that could go on the site, but I need to get some balance back after this - I feel utterly broken hearted and just can't seem to stop crying or to let go of tne sight and feel of her just drooping in my arms at her last moment with me and the way the life, the love drained out of her, and I feel so terrible for doing that to her even though the slight bit of rationality I have right now tells me it was the right thing for her.
I brought her home and buried her with her favourite toys, catnip from the garden, pink roses and her favourite blankets in a pretty box. How wonderful it is to have them in our lives but how dreadful the end always is. Rest in perfect peace my sweetheart, I will never forget your sweetness and love. 
I am sure I will be back creating at some point, but right now, I am taking some time out to rebalance and refocus, hope you will be able to understand - any orders received of course will be mailed out promptly as normal.